first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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