I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
