She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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