Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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