is wine microwaveable?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
