he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just got carded by a ten year old.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
