Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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