return my video game
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize