It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
