Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize