i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
