he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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