Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
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