If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize