Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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