I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
