In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
