new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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