it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
