six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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