So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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