he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
