White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
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