I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
