new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
