I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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