So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
