wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
