fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
