Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize