ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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