I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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