he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize