Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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