: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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