Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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