You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
