he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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