i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
