Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just found puke in my bra..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize