Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
