Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
