I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
