Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
