The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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