sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
