I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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