using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
