margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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