I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sex in a hospital.. check
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
