Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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