what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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