who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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