his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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