I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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