I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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