Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize