My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
