I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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