i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
