people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
