who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
